ylva niksen

thank you for clicking on this blog! i am absolutely stunned that you have found this small little space in the big big interwebbs.

in the last ten years i was grinding hard. trying to earn some money on the side (i work in a corporate job fulltime) with something i love to do.

so i went for graphic design. i designed selfhelp books for clients that got published, online and print magazines for clients in the yoga and wellness industry that wanted their customers to have a happy and colorful read and i did lots and lots of freebie pdf for lots and lots of newsletters back before covid hit.

my side hustle was running, i was making a good side money but indeed it was a hustle…

most weekdays i worked on my clients projects until after midnight only to drive to my corporate job that starts at 7 am. sidenote: i still have that corporate job, but i dont have my business anymore. but let me explain …

that didnt work out long as you can imagine. but at first i was fine. i was feeling the energy, the hustle, i had the drive until i didnt anymore. clients messaging me all day, sending revisions via voice messages and forgetting about what they were asking for few hours or days before. at some point i just had enough.

enough of me having no boundaries, of clients asking for more and more for free, of working late hours next to my fulltime job and then i stopped.

then i stumpled upon the selfhelp and spirituality bubble and it felt quite comforting. diving deep into my own soul, mind, body. learning about myself, growing, overcoming my fears and becoming more conscious to life itself. so some years and trainings later i found myself working on the side again in yoga studios as a teacher for shake the dust (amazing practice from satu tuomela, please look it up!) and i also had my own organised classes and events with shake the dust, joy of slowness and intuitive movement. at some point i stumpled upon a (almost disgustingly cheap) beautiful cellar space within the old town i live in. it was too good to be true and i let myself blind from all the visions that flew into my head with what i could do with this space. so we renovated the 35 sqm. put some nice soft green on the walls (yeah that millenial green huh? yes!), some decorations, yoga mats, blankets and cushions and 1200 euros later it was done. it was done and beautiful and i loved it so much!

i had the space for 8 months and i cancelled the lease for it because i realised: if you open a door of new possibilities you, too, open windows and more doors of also new responsibilities. i was blinded by the door i opened, the beautiful furniture and colors and framed artwork be bought and placed into the room and i didnt see the responsibilities. dumb (yeah, i know), naive (yup) and also brave! but this space took all of me. money, headspace and (almost) the love for what i do.

there are lotta things i learned about myself in all this years of try and error. yes, i was falling a lot but i was always standing up once more. i love to try. new things, exciting things, boring things (oh my brain hates that, but its good for me) and things that make my heart jump a little with joy and a little bit of fear (its still there and that is ok).

last month (april) i deregistered my business, cancelled subscriptions like zoom, gema, epidemic sound, zervant, calendly and my heart got lighter. a relief and a knowing that i will never ignore my gut again when it speaks to me.

and finally i feel freed from my self created burden. from the hustle in different shapes and forms that wore me out for years.

i finally stepped in for myself and cannot recommend it enough though its a journey. something we must feel, we cannot know it with just our heads.

you got this journey friend!

i created this blog to find my spark and love for writing and creating in general again. writing, painting, pottery, dancing and movement, maybe even vlogs…who knows. just to create something i love and maybe you like it too maybe not. it will be here anyway and that is a big one i learned in all this years.

thx for reading this and have good one!